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"Thinnius Thogg" goes to Greece
  
   
Two days before departure advised by the Travel Agent that Thomas Cook had change the hotel chosen and bookTed due as a result of the original Greek Hotel chosen had over booking - We were not Happy Bunnies- - - as a result our Hotel was change was upgraded from 4* to 5* ( Ha Haa ?)
3.00am Taxi< 3.45am arrived at EMA<4.00am baggage “booked-in“<4.15am security check <4.30am Angel Lounge<6.30am Departure Gate -walk to plane<7.05am Take-off< Arrive in Thessoloniki 12.05pm on time< good passage thro customs04/05/09 -Arrived at Hotel which was quite impressive but with just one guy receptionist a (MANUEL?) - not one guest around very - spooky and is where the problem started
The male receptionist gave us the details of our allocated room - just not acceptable it was NOT what we had requested nor was it what we were expecting at the first hotel which we had booked We must have spent a full one and half hours sat in the deserted reception with no other persons around other than Manuel at the other side of the Reception desk telling us he would want another 280 GB pounds for the enjoyment of a sea view room which we had already booked and paid for, He had rang his Allocations executive and she had to ring Thomas Cook to confirm what we had agreed and then had the cheek to tell us that the special non decipherable coding did not include the sea view which was also clearly printed on theirs and our order confirmation - this was Manuel at his most stupid explaing that one of the letters in the code was for a garden view - needles to say this was the last straw. Fortunately during the latter part of my last explanation and ultimatum a young lady Ilisti had come in and was busy and discretely involved in some paperwork, which when she had completed she simply and discretely came into the conversation, taking all the paperwork from me and replacing with modified documentation which stated we were now having exactly what we had been promised - explaining to Manual that if there was any dispute, it was up to themselves to sort out with, who ever , but certainly not a guest who should receive what they were expecting, particularly as they had been involuntarily transferred from their first hotel choice - WHAT A RESULT well done and thanks to a sensible and competent Ilisti. We than had a welcome bottle and fruit bowl plus a bell boy to take us on his mini-moke via the underpass to our sea view room a last Yippee!
We settled in our room ( complete with sea view)showered and changed out of our travelling clothes into our incognito outfits and went on the preliminary obligatory tour of the hotel facilities and the grounds ( as you do) - highly satisfactory now and as the heat had withdrawn from our tempers and the frustration of being a “non-communicado” guests had been resolved we began, our mislead ourselves in the fact, to relax
That evening we went down to dinner full of apprehension as to what we were about to experience
Well it was different for sure - The dining room was a self service, which we fully expected, and it was clean and well staffed with an excellent choice of food. The main concern was the price of the drinks served at the table- as it was our first night, we opted for a litre bottle of still water- 4 GBP ( the price for 6 in the Supermarket the next day was only 3.50 GBP. As a further guide to prices the next day I had a drink at one of the Hotels outside pool Bars 4.5 GBP for - wait for it - YES for a small cup of boiling water poured at the table in front of my eyes with a tea bag loose in the saucer 4.5 GBP or in their language 4.5 Euros - Crikey me! We are in for a great time
Back to the plot very late in the dinner episode two quite separate families appeared in the dining room - we adjudge they were Russian Mafia. The family Madam had two daughters, a young son Husband, brother and elder son - the whole ensemble were dressed mainly in Black with the Madam in a garish Red leather jacket with glitzy silver embellishments, a silver butterfly hair slide , rings, belt, silver high heeled shoes plus cigarettes in holder -smoking continuously whilst eating.
The second Russian family was in their early 20/30`s with scruffy old stone washed jeans ( fashionable several years ago but not now - very worn and baggy together with a couple of young boys probably 3-4 years old who were constantly into all the self service goodies with fingers . Oh by the way this family always ate their meals wearing Base ball caps - evening meals and the following mornings breakfast - in fact they could well have been up all night and simply came along for breakfast in the same gear without changing .
05/05/09 - This next morning we decided to eat in the “el fresco” part of the dining room., which surprised us for most of the other guest opted for eating inside ? OUR MISTAKE ?
Then we realised the BIG MISTAKE - Both Russian families ate breakfast “el-fresco“ also Other guests invariable opted for eating inside for the smoking Russian continued with their habit thro-out the meal oblivious to the discomfort of others- by the way the Madam was still dressed in her garish outfit she wore the previous evening - and thankfully on her way home that day - they had obviously booked a 5 day holiday booked from the opening date of the 30th April - Yippee!!!
Several other Soviet style families all appeared as though they were on a 5 day holiday as hotel only opened for the season on the 30th April
The third family of significance was only obvious as the result of their appearance straight from a dated black and white Movie. . Their appearance was similar to the Hamish sect. Elder father who simply came into the restaurant and sat at his usual table , built like a house-side in dull aged dark shirt jacket and trousers with a grey beard way, way down to his chest - obviously not shaven for years. His son was dress similarly, together with receding hair and the wispiest sign of a pony tail . The mother and son brought all the food to the table - On second thought I suppose the could have been orthodox Greeks-
Well that was about all for Day1 and early Day 2
Maitre D ( Youthful Alistair Simms), “All-over Tan“, and “anorexic-Ulrika Johnson look alike” and NO, yes really NO GERMAN Towels on Sun Beds .
In a small Boutique Jewellery Shop within the Ground Floor Bar Restaurant Area was a very skinny Greek lady possibly in her early 20,s or maybe 30,s and in all the time we were there we NEVER saw one prospective customer inside - there was not on price tag on any of the pieces - not surprising if a cup of boiling water cost 4.5 GBP. We have never seen a lady wearing pants so tight (continuously) everyday together with a least 3 layers of jacket/sweater/shirt etc. She also ate and stayed permanently at the hotel as did the Bar Pianist06/05/09 -“Alistair Simms!” alias - the Maitre D was probably the Hotel Catering Manager for he was every where , it was virtually impossible to smuggle anything out of the Restaurants as a Room goodie - It was a good job it was only “virtually” impossible as it would have removed at least one of the enjoyments from the holiday
The “anorexic Ulrika Johnson look alike” was a real double in everyway, posture, dress attitude, thankfully she was only on view during the evening meal she and her partner made their usual entrance at 8.30pm prompt the only thing missing was the Fanfare - the waiters went into competition mode on her entrance which was only terminated by caustic “Alistair Simms” the Maitre D
“Allover Tan” was a slim tallish female with another female as her partner. You could tell it was an artificial tan for it was of uniform appearance with no whitish shadows on the inside of her arms, chin and the creases behind the knee, etc. her face was also very pale, potted and only exposed with make-up.Miss Allover Tan als had a tattoo decorating her navel area and made well rehearsed entrances into the swimming pool which were only bettered by her exits 30 second later via a stylish routine which included a backward arms lift onto the side wall of the pool and then a discrete knees tucked under and impressive upward stance ( you could invariably sense the tension, appreciation and silent inward gasp and applause by all the males present around the pool - which was usual just the two of us !!!)
07/08/09 -Thursday morning breakfast announced the arrival of .. Danni De Vito and his “daughter !!”, ( well I suppose it could have been “Time Teams” Tony Robinson but I prefer to think it was Danni) . Danni was dressed in a dark grey pinned striped suit, `Yes! The full McCoy with the jacket swinging open and a dark grey Baseball cap. He and his “daughter’ were quite discrete until they started to smoke at the table and the waitress had to ask them to leave the breakfast area and go and sit in the outside “el fresco” area, - which they did begrudgingly with a rye smiles on their faces - One up to the waitress though- I guess she did not recognise them !!
This morning was also marked with the entrance of wait for it .. Alistair Darling , yes really the Chanccellor of the exchequer came in and was eating in the same room as we were -, even though he was now dressed with a dark grey moustach it was obviously and blatantly him in disguise - obviously getting well away from the media, specifically avoiding the Press and questions on his Parliamentary expenses I guess, . however I will give him his due he was quietly confident, in no way as furtive as his House of Commons demeanor.. We finally exited the breakfast table complete with our fruit and bread rolls for our mid day
Todays evening meal was quite a change from the genteel experiences so far - Why ? Well we were all suddenly invaded by the Over 70`s German Ladies Rugby team and accompanying officials coming to town.. They certainly knew how to party. For the very first time in the hotels experience they were completely swamped - with a lack of waiters , chefs, table clearers and food replenishes ( Commi waiters)-
Over 70`s German Ladies Rugby team -15pts Aegean Star Hotel - 0 points
After the evening meal they all gathered in the outside bar and spent the rest of then evening lifting and emptying their pint tankards full of best bitter - what a different sight and sound to the previous evenings - different if nothing else Ha Ha Haa!! . It was great seeing the seniors our doing the youngsters and causing turmoil for the Alistair Simms team and a new experience I would presume!.
I should add a few notes here relative to the - Alistair Simms character. He really is the Maitre D with aspirations of becoming the General Manager. He is a character with built in “Sat Nav” - “Heads-up display”-of the where-abouts of each and every staff member-, “Built in anti collision device” ( even when walking backwards) He is even seen straightening the collar and ties of waiters during service in the centre of the dining room - quite a control freak on course for his advanced badge
08/05/09 -The new incoming guest character of today is .. “Latex Lill” spotted her ( well she couldn`t be missed) at the pool-side, immediately beneath our room. She is a blond in her late 40`s early 50`s in a latex bikini with the bra top similar to the Madonna similar to the John Paul Gaultier design - the one with a bra which looks like two walnut whips. She also had matching high heel shoes, a huge carrying bag and a cowboy style Stetsun with 4 red butterflies positions N,S,E & W, which matched the 3 she had on her bikini bottoms situated just below her navel. She was constantly repairing her make-up with the longest lipstick brush imaginable .and using her make up mirror to reverse scan everyone around, yes she was on her lone-som but was obviously on the look out. I know all this as I am a people watcher NOT a voyeur - NOT SO I am just a watcher of “people extra-ordinairre”
11/05/09- We are now into the second week and the beginning of the high holiday season and to combat the incoming hoards the Hotel group had obviously decided to hold onto established ground by bringing two new management faces - Batman and Robin - this pair were the original continently 007 and his faithful accomplish in a smart collard shirt and tie and an assistants uniform of the obligatory denim jeans . They swept into the Dining Room at breakfast with the same result as though someone had instantly switched on the air conditioning - Alistair Simms did not at all appear be amused, uncomfortable YES but not amused !!! We shall have to wait for the next episode of this ongoing Saga
The sun is now getting to be quite vicious as many red skins are confirming - Our factor 15 is standing up well to the onslaught
Tonight in the “el fresco” restaurant was quite an event , the table service was much , much poorer than normal ( always remembering that it is buffet self service). The waiters obviously relative inexperienced yet they continually walked by tables with finished dishes and plates requiring removal and simply left on and to clutter the tables. During the evening it was quite obvious that they were expecting certain dignitaries in to this particular area for unbelievable trouble was taken to polish each piece of glassware and cutlery - several times , even the cruits were polished and repositioned several times. Several of the guests were left unattended whilst this preparation went on for at least 20 minutes. A quite and unofficial murmur went around the restaurant ready for the entrance, which came a few minutes later, when all the diners rose as one and clapped the unknown dignitaries to their places - everyone appreciated the joke and the funny side of the situation with the tension immediately going out of the windows. The we added a note to the rear of the drinks receipt complaining about the individual table service - which left Alistair Simms standing with head bowed muttering “I’m sorry” as he was handed the signed receipts - a small victory for a truly spontaneous, multi national, gesture - of some note
We wait until tomorrow comes for the final outcome
12/05/09 - Now I must have to tell you about the holiday beyond the hotel and into the “private” beach area. The hotel we stayed in was quite reasonable as hotels go even if it was a 5*. In fact our hotel accommodation and evening meal , flight and airport transfer was cost us LESS than we would have paid for a Holiday at Thoresby Hotel just up the road to Ollerton, so everything was not bad, far from it. However if you wanted to relax, lie or strut your stuff on the beautiful beach with a couple of sun beds and the parasol, wait for it.. .. cost 10 GBP -YES 10 pounds sterling ( also 10 Euros for the exchange is virtually par) . Really there was no real need for this, as the hotel had 7 pools of various sizes and locations within the beautiful grounds - the only really downside was that the grounds were built into the hillside and had many steps and inclines a small price to pay for the total facilities. Oh I have forgotten, for we did not use it - was the Spa, the most exclusive body massage was priced at 250 GBP ( sterling) . I will not bother you with the lesser services for they were and are all proportionally costed.???
12/05/09 - The second Tuesday morning breakfast saw the entrance of yet another Look-Alike - “Jerry Hall” Mick Jagger’s ex wife, complete with HUGE sunglasses and a, full length, black flowing cotton Sarong which was an impressive back drop to her waist length straight blond hair. Her beau was a short fat guy all of 5 feet 5 inches tall whilst Jerry is at least 6 feet high . Other than this to day was somewhat uneventful yet very pleasant, peaceful and I yes a touch of bliss. It is great not having to get up at 5 in the morning to place towels on sun beds , in fact at no time is there a need for this . The hotel probably has 60% Russians, 30% ex Soviet States and the balance ( English and amongst them a few Greeks). There is a strange lack of routine sunbathing, shouting scramming kiddies and elderly guyes with handkerchieves knotted on their heads although there are several who eat drink and generally exist to wearing their baseball caps for all occasions, with most of the guests being couples and only the few (4 Buggies) with babies, the really young definitely in the minority here- just one.. However, the Over 60’s Ladies Rugby team is still around but it is only at evening meal times when they are evident by waiting at the restaurant door - prior to be opened by the now subdued Alistair Simms the Maitre D ( remembering he now has superiors)
mord to come later - apologise for the spelling mistakes
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13/05/09 - In the late after Wednesday the 13th afternoon we witnessed huge numbers of young women and a very few men being herded around the hotel and grounds being given the Tour by the management - next years contingent of additional Travel Agents selling the cause. Now normally these groups are given the Tour a drink of Sangria , a Sale Chat and then sent on there way, not so this time. the general chatter seemed to be in Russian again with cameras flashing at every conceivable feature and bikini clad guest - however the best was still to come..
We went down to Dinner at the usual time of 7.30pm, took up station at our usual table, ordered our bottle \of still water (4GBP) and went to self serve ourselves with the Hors derves course, which was quite close to the entrance when suddenly a Sumami of Travel Agents burst into the dining Room ( 120 of them accelerating thro a gap now two doors wide ) carrying all before them including myself - I finally came to rest, up side down in the remote “Waiters Station” at the far end of the Dining Room with Serviettes and tooth pics sticking out of everywhere, socks , pockets, ears, mouth, nose and shirt - not a nice sight or feeling I can tell you ,and not an experience I want to repeat. After eventually completing our evening meal we decided an early night was probably for the best, on the way to our room we pass the small kiosk and briefly , yes! and it was briefly for the price of paper back novels averages out at 11 GBP yes a paperback priced here in the UK for approx 4GBP was almost 3x those on sale at home - we could have paid for excess baggage and still sold our “fortnight reads” at a vast profit to the kiosk before we came home
14/05/09 - My! my The Gods surely came alive last night with huge, massive thunder claps which shook the very earth , thank goodness it was after dark, for it surely was most welcome for it removed the oppressive atmosphere which was beginning to build up quite highly during the days with the temperatures in the 26/27 centigrade region - Aah! Well it’s a small price top pay for “wall to wall” sunshine. Incidentally the thunder claps are only surmounted by the daily show of strength by the Greek Air Force Fighter jets who display their noisy prowess by flying ridiculously low and “buzzing” our hotel twice daily on their way out to and returning from the country`s eastern boarder with Turkey
15/05/09 - THE BRITISH ARE BACK !!! This Friday morning ( 15th May) when I went to the balcony, this glorious sunny morning, I went to the balcony to take in a few breezes and immediately saw the FIRST time in almost a fortnight, three pairs of 3 sun lounges plus parasols RESERVED with the hotels yellow beach towels draped over them.
In the Breakfast Restaurant this morning we sat alongside a table of 6 white face broad speaking Northerners from Doncaster, and guess what I realised after breakfast that it was these my fellow countrymen and their partners who had broken the unwritten rule not to reserve sun lounges alongside the swimming pool, Shame! Shame! SHAME!! on them
The Hotel is set in a type of revine a pprox 300 M wide by some 400M scoops down to the beach. There are swallows and swifts were constantly gliding in the air streams in adition to a sigle pait of Gulls and believe it or not a single pair of Grey Rooks which spent the entire day gliding low over the hotel raiding the waste bins for food . Their technique was quite simple yet their goal surprisingly successful. They were both ingenious and devious in their actions
First they began dipping deep into the bins (some 30 in number)which were only approximately 12 inches deep mounted in a basket type of frame work which was about waist height. After sieving the rubbish and litter of no use to them, they invariable found food - if by chance a human happened to come by they simply hopped off the bin and hid close by in the undergrowth of sedum plants which were in n abundance everywhere , beautiful coloured flowers of white, pinks and deep reds until it was clear again. More than once we saw these particular images gliding down towards us near the beach with a half slice of bread cut on the diagonal held in the beaks it appesred similar and just like the smaller triangular forward wings of the new Euro Fighter - it was really amusing, but regretfully quite impossible to photograph
16/05/09 - On the second Saturday, we saw one of the results of the SOVIETSINVASION - a middle aged couple began coming down to the one of the adult pool areas with their youngster, probably 8 months or so old. The youngster was always completely naked in the blare of the sunshine and was encourage to get about in the unique style of a young monkey ( using stiff straight legs rather than his knees )- quite ridiculous and irresponsible for he was everywhere and always choose to attempt to get into the “infinity style pool’ which could have easily had tragic results. There after, he was unfortunately referred to as the “monkey walking child”
Whilst in reception booking our transport back to the airport in 3 days time we came across another BRIT couple booking in , The couple had two children the eldest about 3 years who was lifted up onto the marble reception desk and allowed to play and scramble all along the top whilst his parents were signing in and his younger brother of sister in a carry cot lift of from a deluxe version Buggy. The comical part of this “booking in” was the conclusion, where the mother was attempting to make the Receptionist understand that she wanted a “Baby’s Potty” in the room as her elder child continually falls into the conventional toilet , as the seats are too large. This same couple has a strange understanding of what “formal dress” for the evening meal really means,. for they turned up , complete with buggy, towards the end of the evening meal period - the father was sloppily dressed in a Red Ferrari baseball cap ( actually both father and son sported the famous colours) dressed in a floppy Tee shirt with three quarter length combat trousers, flip- flops and bare feet- Nuf said - I am not a snob, but we do all should have some respect and concern for other fellow guests who have saved a small fortune over the year, for the two weeks of relaxation, peace and understanding
Regretfully it is not only the Hotel facilities which create and establish a reputation, it is the behaviour and attitude of each and everyone of their guests, ( of every nationality, although some are more respectful than others) which they accept who should also respect convention and the management should not tolerate and allow, bend or break convention and standards already set in place
The main course of this evenings meal was a superb Chilli con-carni.
16/0509 - The wall to wall sunshine is not quite today , It is very bright and humid with the sun sat idly behind a thin covering of cloud, no breeze and a little oppressive - still according to todays National weather for-cast much more acceptable than that in the UK. The BRIT have noted convention and did NOT reserved sun-beds with their towels - Yippee, a result
Spent some of this morning updating this report in a derelict Wine Bar yet exquisitely atmospheric, on stilts and overhanging the beautiful sandy beach - yes still to be renovated/updated for the coming season but so what - it is great, quiet and peaceful place, fabulously stress free and just bliss
Some time later and on the way back to the Hotel we lounged for a hour or so in a superb shaded hammock suspended between two tall and elderly trees overlooking the still calm sea aqua marine coloured shallow sea shoreline from the superbly presented undulating grounds
18/05/09 The morning of our return and what a morning and night . The thunder and lightening began last night at about 8.00pm - It was the “mother of all” thunder and lightening so intense and continuous through all the night until about 8.30am this morning. We have never exoeri8neced such prolonged and continuous lightening in the so close and so intense. In the space of the last 30 minutes at breakfast we counted 95 lightening strikes into the nearby stretch of` the sea all, within a 3 miles of the hotel.. I could honestly say that during this period there must have been well into several hundreds of spectacular displays of raw, nature continuously - we cannot envisage ever being witnesses to a repeat performance of this majestic send off from a holiday - not ever
Incidentally this morning in the reception as we were booking out “Kenny Rodgers” was booking a hire car , presumably for himself and “Dolly Parten“, although the hugely boobed, blonde, Country Western Singer was no where to be seen !!!!!
______________________ ___ WELL THAT ITFOLKs
THINNIUS 
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B J O characters
Many of our readers/visitors may be interested in what is happening behind their monitor screen whilst surfing our site. Well settle down and let us explain a little about all our local characters who work tirelessly together, 24/7, to produce this “show” entitled Burton Joyce Online
First of all, here is a simple explanation as to what you actually see on this your monitor. Imagine this screen as "the stage of a theatre". The scenery and all the subsequent pictures displayed, are the result of an army of little people ( village characters) “beavering” away, dashing quietly around behind the screen in what we call the “Back Office”.
Access to the “Back Office” is via a top secret, coded access, available only to the “Administrator“. Now this “Administrator” is a real Ogre and Slave Driver - impatient, never satisfied with anything, - "rapid, perfect presentation of top quality, in double quick time - is the “mantra” of this particular bullying character
The Administrator’s - constant whipping boy, is the Lead Developer - a vastly more competent and knowledgeable character in the workings of computer programming and troubleshooting (much more than the Administrator ever will be) - The Lead Developer is undoubtedly the Main Man and  “Guardian Angel” of our little character work force in the “Back Office”. Incidentally this Guardian Angel's name is “Gabriel” - really truthfully .. ..  How’s that for a coincidence?.
Our “Little Village Characters” - and there are many of them, each have an individual responsibility for a particular Department’s function and maintenance within the “Back Office” i.e
Front Page Manager ,   Article Manager,      Article Editing,Forum,                      News Feed Services,  Section Manager,
Category Manager,     Manager of Media subjects ( photographs etc),
Artwork Advertisements Adapters,              Events and Venues
Web Links,                Guest Contributions, Pollsters,
News Flash Editors,    Web Mail Organisers,  Site Registration etc., etc
 .. it goes on and on. .. .. .. ..
We also have several “Trouble Shooter” characters, on hand to check whether visitors have logged in correctly - with their Username and password and advise them if not. The Trouble Shooters also notify readers if they are adopting an incorrect procedure, even when mistakenly try to poll more than once in the same day
There are many individual departments within the Back Office each with their respective managing little characters, for which we need to provide with many ancillary services and facilities - mini rest rooms, canteens, an endless number of pencils and pencil sharpeners, note paper, miniature coffee machines, toilet facilities and naturally a great numerber of laptops - well, in fact, not really laptops, for because our characters are so small, they find conventional laptops too heavy to carry around, so they really use special hand held mini computers.
Interestingly because our characters are all local members of our communities, we do not need to provide transport or car parks - for they walk to work. Oh Yes! We also have to provide a viewers with a 24/7 service and operate a 3 shift system and yet all these little characters give of their time generously and completely free - for they are part of, and vital to our “not-for-profit” community operation and to whom we are all eternally grateful and indebted !!!   ;-)
However what we are now in need of are "lifesize Reporter characters" in each of our surrounding villages, so that ALL our visitors are kept informed and up to date with all their individual village events, gossip, opinions and concerns . So come on all you budding reporters, get in touch by clicking our CONTACT button at the bottom of the Home Page
